


Who has the Last Quack?

by YunaBlaze



Category: Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Genre: Bickering, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-04-23 21:03:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19158931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunaBlaze/pseuds/YunaBlaze
Summary: You know people like to say that if you can take care of a pet, then you are ready to have a family?Let's just say it's not a good idea to send someone a duckling for a pet.





	Who has the Last Quack?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kameiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kameiko/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [За кем последний кряк?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21976276) by [azzy_aka_papademon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/azzy_aka_papademon/pseuds/azzy_aka_papademon)



> Hi Kameiko! I hope you enjoy this silly story and that it brightens your day with a smile!
> 
> A Russian translation of this fic has been made by azzy_aka_papademon.

David Sarif had faced many foes, both in public light and in conspiracy’s shadow, but this might be the biggest and the most complex enemy he had ever encountered in his life time... Though it was probably also just karma speaking and maybe a few percentages came from his old flame deciding to bite him back in the ass for one of their many, MANY arguments.

Quack! Chip! Chip!

Oh, right! Back to his current problem...

An ugly little thing if he had to describe it. Such an eye-grating yellow colour it had with some disgusting spots of brown here and there, dark beady eyes that was annoying to look at and a fat body over short tiny webbed feet. Yep, the perfect image of an ugly duckling and this one was no baby swan.

Brown eyes turned from glaring at the ugly duckling to the small card beside it. The typical words for abandoned pets were marked on it in a familiar cursive writing style, “Please take good care of me.”

He really should just tell Athene to dispose of the duckling and the box it came from, but knowing his secretary, she might end up passing the little waterfowl around the building for its... cuteness. He could never understand what women found adorable about such ugliness. It did nothing but quark and chip nonstop. Hmm... He could cook it. After all, it was a fowl-type animal and its meat usually ended up on a plate anyway. Sadly, the duckling leaned more on the skeleton side of the scale, he needed to stuff it until it was nice and fat for his meal...

Of course, when he called Athene in to get something for his next meal course, the blonde was already on his case like an overprotective mama bear as she berated him, ‘I know that look on you David. Don’t you dare even think about doing that to the poor thing!’

‘I’m just asking you to feed that thing!’ argued Sarif defensively as he pointed at the duckling accusingly.

‘You mean stuffed it fat like a pig until it can be served on your plate,’ muttered Athene accusingly before she cooed at the little duckling and gave its head a little rub with her index finger, the little waterfowl chipped happily at the doting human.

The CEO of Sarif Industry huffed in frustration at his secretary’s words and her cringe-worthy acts before he pulled the box away from her and said, ‘You know what, just buy me some bread and I’ll make sure to feed this thing myself. I don’t trust you won’t set it free or something if I leave you with it.’

The blonde shook her head in a manner that befitted a mother hen who was not happy with her chick’s behaviour as she left his office. Oh come on! What was wrong for him to think of the duckling as nothing but food? Besides, it was practically illegal and impossible to keep a duck for a pet in Detroit!

A chip drew Sarif away glaring at the closed doors.

When David looked down, his eyes met the demanding look of a displeased duckling that was practically commanding him to get it food.

‘Give me that look again and I won’t hesitate to roast you,’ Sarif threatened as he went to his desk, putting the box on one corner and dropped an old baseball he had into it. No way in Hell he would let the damn thing touched his signed baseball. ‘Go play ball while you wait.’

The only thing he got was an indignant quack from the duckling.

***

Sarif was not sure when or why, but in these few days, the duckling had been a pleasant company and he had gotten used to its demanding quacks. Of course, it couldn’t really played fetch, though it did developed the habit of bumping the baseball around in the box for fun. Said box had doubled in size, David had gotten the duckling a giant bowl filled with water for it to swim in and two small plates for it to drink water from and snack on pieces of bread he left for it.

It didn’t take long for him to realize something unusual about this little waterfowl of his, for he had half expected that it would start trying to fly or at least practice with its wings, though the duckling didn’t even made an attempt to do so. After noticing its unusual behaviour, he had a veterinarian checked on the little guy, gal according to the expert, and the result was a wing injury that had affected its development. The veterinarian said that it would take some time for it to recover and hopefully it would attempt to fly on its own soon afterwards. If not, someone needed to help it learn how to fly.

The news led to Sarif attempting to create a skeletal support for the duckling out of boredom and even a minor blueprint on a wing augmentation if the little one needed its wing replaced. Hmm... Who knew that having a pet to take care would lead to new ideas! Besides, having metallic wings sounded much more awesome than just a simple anti-gravity system like Icarus.

So giddy he was over his blueprints that he failed to notice the arrival of an unannounced visitor.

‘Hard at work as per usual,’ the intruder remarked in an unimpressed tone.

Sarif blinked in surprised at the voice. He had heard it many time, though nowadays, it was always accompanied by a faint static in the background. The voice of one Hugh Darrow, his mentor and ex-lover...

‘What are you doing here?’ demanded Sarif, eyes not leaving his screen as he continued to draw his blueprint.

The older man limped his way towards the ugly duckling’s box, glancing at the waterfowl inside curiously before he remarked, ‘Neglectful as always, aren’t you?’

The younger male sighed in exasperation at that as he muttered, ‘Oh here we go again. I did not neglect that duck. As you can see, she has food, water and a ball to play with.’

‘And you are sitting there while it is all the way over here,’ Darrow pointed out, gesturing the huge distance between the brunet and the animal.

Well... In Sarif’s defence, he did not want the duckling to splash water onto his stuffs, so he moved it close to his personal elevator, where nothing of importance could be destroyed by accident. ‘She’s safer in her corner.’

‘Ah yes, your beloved corner,’ the founder of mechanical augmentation said sarcastically.

‘I am not heartless, Hugh. I just like to have clear boundaries. You have your space, I have my space and we are all happy,’ Sarif argued. ‘Besides, I am busy here. She’ll have more fun playing ball in the box.’

‘In other words, you are ignoring her to work on your projects,’ commented Darrow, his tone mercilessly towards his protégé.

Sarif grimaced at the tone, as if Hugh had any right to say that to him when he was busy as he was with his own projects, if not worse than him. Nevertheless, his ex-lover wouldn’t stop rubbing in his face one of the reasons why they didn’t work out, the main reason in his opinion was Sarif being neglectful and uncaring. Well that certainly explained why he had sent him an injured duckling, probably to use it to prove his point that he was incapable of putting aside his works to be with someone.

‘You know, if you are here to argue with me, I rather we do it on the phone. At least I could cut you off anytime I want,’ said Sarif pleasantly with an extra smile just to annoy the other further.

Of course, this was an old song-and-dance between them and Darrow knew how to slap back just as swiftly. His usual pleasant grandpa façade on his face as he asked, ‘How did you want your duck meat? Medium rare as per usual? You always love your meat bloody.’ He looked down at the duckling that was staring at him curiously. ‘Poor dear, not even knowing how cruel your caretaker actually is.’

‘Cruel?’ Sarif repeated, a little indignant at his choice of word.

‘Yes, cruel. He also has the horrible habit of hurting people more than he helps them too,’ the old man added casually as if it was his confused listener that quacked that questioning word.

Two could play that game. Sarif swore in his head before he got up and said just as casually, ‘Yes, I am quite cruel indeed. Seeing I learn it all from the master here. Working day and night, he barely even noticed his boyfriend was sick and burning like a volcano. His boyfriend was really lucky his maid called the police or he would be a corpse rotting on the bed.’

Thus, they went at each other’s throat while the innocent duckling was stuck in the middle to listen to their annoying squabble over her head. Over time, the duckling just went back to her bathing, eating and playing, ignoring the stupid giants above her.

The two men’s arguments gone from situations that had inflicted physical or emotional pain on their significant other to ridiculous cases in which they were humiliated by the idiocy of the other. Pretty much anything and every little thing they could remember.

‘It’s not my fault that you decided to randomly pick up the first boxers you found on the floor and then spent the rest of the day trying to wash off your own prank,’ said Darrow in exasperation, because this was something Sarif LOVED to remind him. Not exactly his fault that they had one too many glass of whiskey, then they had too much fun in bed that they couldn’t even recall where their clothes had landed and the surprise ended up on Sarif’s side instead of his.

‘Ugh! When are you going to admit that YOU are the REASON why we broke up?’ Sarif demanded angrily, hating how high and mighty Hugh always sounded. His ex-boyfriend never once attempted to make him feel like they were equals in their relationship, it was always Darrow was right and Sarif was wrong, Darrow was better and Sarif needed to learn!

‘ME? You are the one who acted like a child EVERY time something went wrong!’ retorted the limping man angrily.

While they were arguing over the faults they found in each other, neither noticed the chipping and quacking from the duckling that was flapping her tiny wings nonstop, trying to draw their attention, but why would they spare an ounce of attention to a tiny thing like her?

At least, not until ominous shadows loomed over the two men and then louder and angrier quacks sounded in the room. Both men thought it came from the duckling and realized too late that it actually came from two angry feathery intruders. Before either of them knew it, they were attacked by the two huge ducks. Cries of surprise and pain soon filled the room as the humans tried to defend themselves from the angry bites. By the end of the sudden surprise ambush, Sarif could be found covering the fallen Darrow with his body while using his augmented arm to push back the ducks that were still quacking angrily at them.

‘What the hell do you guys want?’ Sarif demanded angrily, bruises on his cheeks and a split lip. Damn! How much damage could a damn duck inflict?!

The ducks quacked a few more times, almost like a pair of complaining parents before they went and fetched the little duckling from her box. The little one chipped happily at the ducks before all three of them quacked their way out of the office, through a ventilation shaft. Well... Maybe he should have listened to Adam’s suggestion of screwing them shut...

Sarif turned towards Darrow and slapped him harshly on the shoulder as he accused madly, ‘You stole a duckling from its murderous parents and sic it on me? Are you trying to kill me?’

‘I didn’t stole it! I found it injured in the park. That’s hardly kidnapping!’ Darrow retorted in a hiss, furiously trying to get rid of the feathers on his clothes and hair.

‘Ugh! You always bring me nothing but troubles!’ Sarif hissed back as he lightly shove his mentor before he sighed and sat down next to him, grimacing at the injuries on his face. He was going to need to borrow some of Athene’s makeup to cover these up.

‘Funny, I recall saying that to you more often than not when you were my student,’ said Hugh with a laugh as he forced himself to sit upright.

Yeah. Sarif recalled very well how troublesome he was... It ended with him losing his arm.

‘Still... I guess you have learned all you can from me,’ his former teacher remarked, staring at his augmented arm. ‘After all, that was the first augmentation you have created. From there, you’ve built up your own empire.’

‘No... This...’ Sarif looked down at his own augmented arm, lightly running his fingers over the golden patterns. ‘This was our first work together...’

It was so easy to forget what they had accomplished together, the fun they had and the love they held for each other. When he had lost his arm, he was devastated and he thought he wouldn’t be able to achieve his dream, but Darrow had remained by his side, helping him and encouraging him. Together they had recreated an artificial arm for him. It was this arm that had brought them together and also what later separated them. Now... They had nothing but their company and projects. No love, passion or comfort.

‘It was... And perhaps the best one we’ve ever created,’ Darrow said with a small nostalgic smile.

Sarif allowed their shoulder to brush against one another as he glanced at the duckling’s old box and laughed softly. ‘Can’t believe taking care of a duckling and then getting attacked by its parents can turn us both into nostalgic saps.’

Darrow chuckled at that. ‘Here I was hoping it’ll show that you are incapable of caring for another. Guess you can still surprise me.’

Sarif was about to retort with something sharp and witty, but he didn’t get his chance to utter even one more word before the older man suddenly leaned in close and kissed him on the lips.

 _Damn... Always love to have the last word._ Sarif thought in slight displeasure, though the kiss was too nice for him to stay mad. He would just have to keep quiet about that feather poking above Darrow’s head for revenge.


End file.
